Tired But Wired – Know the Feeling?
Struggling to get to sleep, stay asleep, or get back to sleep? You may be surprised by what sits underneath it.
Originally published in Teachers Matter magazine (Issue 71). Republished with permission.
Sleep quality issues don't always look the same. Some people struggle to switch off and fall asleep. Others wake up during the night and lie awake for hours trying to get back to sleep. Many experience both. Whatever form it takes, it can quickly begin to affect your quality of life, your ability to show up at your best, and become something you worry about as evening approaches.
This is the experience I often see with my clients.
You've finally made it to bed after a long day. The workday has officially ended, but your mind is still replaying conversations, thinking about tomorrow, and running through everything that still needs to be done.
2am hits and you're awake with a busy brain. Tomorrow's to-do list is already running through your head. You replay conversations, think about what still needs to be done, and wonder why you're awake AGAIN. Before long, you're calculating how many hours remain until your alarm and wondering how you'll get through the next day.
Rinse and repeat several times a week for weeks or months on end. Not just affecting your nights but impacting your days too.
Sleep researcher Matthew Walker has highlighted how ongoing sleep deprivation can affect emotional regulation, concentration, and cognitive performance, often more than people realise.
Many people adapt to functioning on insufficient sleep and don't fully recognise the impact it may have because the change happens gradually. Brain fog, lower tolerance, having to dig deeper to achieve the same results, and feeling a lot less joy can all be signs that your mind and body are feeling the effects.
You may be more affected by poor sleep than you realise if...
You feel tired but still struggle to switch off.
You wake during the night with a busy mind.
You feel more emotionally reactive or less patient than you used to.
Small stresses affect you more than they once did.
You rely heavily on caffeine or sugar to get through the day.
You find yourself worrying about whether you'll sleep before bedtime even begins.
You finally get time to rest but struggle to fully relax.
You need to dig deeper to get the results you once found simple.
If several of these sound familiar, it may be worth looking beyond sleep itself.
Sleep is often lost long before bedtime
Teachers carry significant emotional and mental load throughout the day. There are lessons to prepare, students to support, meetings to attend, behaviour challenges to navigate, and the constant responsibility of helping others learn and grow. Add family responsibilities, household tasks, and everyday life, and it's easy to move from one demand to the next without ever truly slowing down.
Sleep is often lost long before bedtime.
Over time, pushing through can become normal. We become so focused on what needs to be done that we stop paying attention to what our mind and body might be telling us.
In many ways, sleep success starts when you wake up.
Getting some morning light, moving your body, eating regularly, managing caffeine, sugar, and alcohol intake, and creating boundaries around work-life balance all help set the foundation for better sleep later.
Even something as simple as spending one or two minutes lying quietly when you first wake up can help. Rather than launching immediately into the day's demands, give yourself a moment to arrive in the day before switching into go mode.
At the other end of the day, creating some transition time between activity and sleep can make a significant difference. Many people move directly from work, planning, television, or scrolling straight into bed, only to lie awake struggling to fall asleep.
If you wake during the night with thoughts racing, keeping a notebook nearby can help. Writing thoughts down signals to the mind that you've taken action and don't need to keep revisiting them until morning.
Most importantly, we need to stop glorifying pushing through exhaustion as though it is the same thing as resilience.
One analogy I often use with clients is the oxygen mask instruction on a plane: put your own mask on first. Not because other people matter less, but because if you don't look after yourself, eventually you won't have the capacity to keep looking after everyone else.
For many people in helping professions, self-care can feel selfish. But if you aren't at your best, you cannot do your best. Looking after yourself properly allows you to continue showing up for your students, your family, your colleagues, and yourself.
Sometimes the answer isn't pushing harder.
Sometimes it's recognising that your mind and body may have been carrying too much for too long.
About the author
Michelle Domenghini
Michelle Domenghini is the founder of Mind Your Mind, where she helps people rewire how their mind responds to life's challenges. As a Certified RTT® Practitioner and Certified Hypnotherapist, she works with business owners, professionals and individuals experiencing stress, confidence challenges, unhelpful habits and performance blocks.
Her approach combines Rapid Transformational Therapy® with practical mindset tools to help create meaningful, lasting change and support people to show up at their best in both work and life.
She can be contacted at: michelle@mindyourmind.co.nz
